It's not what you say, it's how you say it

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it

In this world everyone has their own perception, everyone takes thing as their own thinking and understanding, for some people there can be no difference between opinion and judging and for some opinion can be associated with advice and judging can be offensive, Hence we people needs to be very careful with our words while communicating with others, Because speaking thoughtlessly can’t work with everyone, Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as sword, hence while speaking with others we need to be very wise with our words, because only wisely spoken words can heal.

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My father always used to tell me, that in this world what you say doesn’t matter much but how you say it matters a lot, Hence when you plan to confront someone lovingly, then you need to be careful about your presentation, means how you going to confront, when you’ll say,  you need to think before talking, because certain words which are very normal for you, can’t be normal for others, certain things which are very easy for you can be very complicated for others, for example, everyone in this world struggles, struggle is common difficulties is common, but problems situations differs, hence You need to talk by thinking about others perspective as well.

Many times people say right things, they give right advise they give proper suggestion, but still others find them weird and still people take them negatively and reason for this misunderstanding is their way to say it, maybe you are giving proper advice and opinion but it might be sounding as a judgment to others, maybe you are saying everything perfectly but the way you are saying can be sound offensive and arrogant, hence if you want people not to misunderstand you then you don’t need to work on what you say but you need to work on HOW YOU SAY IT.

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Because many times people say right things but their body language becomes aggressive, they give proper suggestion and advise but they become loud while sharing their opinions. Hence people need to understand the difference between What and how. Most of the people feel bad, they get upset, they think that even after saying things for others betterment still, others misunderstand them, still others don’t understand them and never value for their opinions and advise, hence people need to understand that the reason for misunderstanding is not what they say but the actual problem is their HOW( HOW THEY SAY IT). Hence you need to understand your tone, body language, your intensity while speaking and needs to talk with proper words which don’t sound harsh.

Communication is a skill, Here communication is not only about language, but about your gestures, body language and about your tone intensity pitch, everything matters while communicating, hence In order to avoid misunderstanding be careful about how you say things, While putting forward your opinion needs to think will your words able to show your intentions or will others take it as a judgment, because Everyone has different meaning for same words, hence while giving your opinion or advice you need to know the other person properly, you must be aware of other person perspectives.

Hence you need to be careful what you say but you need to be more careful how you say.

1. Be pleasant

A wise person knows when he needs to give advice and when he needs to stay calm and silent, a wise person understands the situation and then put forward his opinion calmly and pleasantly, if you sound offensive other people for sure become defensive, hence be pleasant with your words and have a proper choice of words.

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2. Don’t be harsh with truth

Don’t beat a person by truth, try to put forward truth with polite and gentle way, try to speak with lot of affection, try to say the truth in loving way, don’t say things for your benefit, say things for their benefit, try to speak as plainly as you can with lot of affection and love, here you don’t need to sound diplomatic or sarcastic you need to speak slowly calmly and genuinely, you need to keep smile on your face and that smile should be genuine, not fake, and it shouldn’t be like you are making fun, smile should be like you care for the other person hence you are saying it for their betterment.

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3. Take care of tone and intensity

Many times I have noticed people say right things and they don’t even use harsh words but still people take them negatively and avoid talking to them, and reason for such misunderstanding is their tone and their pitch, they become loud, their body language become aggressive, and thus even after saying right thing with proper words people misunderstand them, hence you need to be very calm and composed, whenever you want to put forward your opinion or suggestion be silent and talk softly, at first listen everyone attentively without interrupting them in between and ones they finish saying their view then talk to them softly by saying they yes you understand their point but still you views differ from them and then say out your reasons calmly smoothly.

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4. Be careful with the time

Before confronting or before putting forward your opinions or suggestions you need to be careful about time, like you need to understand that is it the right time to confront, or you should wait, is it the right time to put forward your suggestion or should wait, is the person in the mood to  face the reality, if person is already stressed then sharing views can’t be a good idea, hence you need to wait for the right time and before saying anything need to ask the other person gently “ IS IT THE RIGHT TIME TO TALK.” And if they feel like hearing then they will for sure ask you to speak. Hence always understand the situation and understand whether it’s a right time to talk or not and then confront.

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Thank you do comment and share your opinion.

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